Are you your harshest critic? #happiness 

This week let’s take a step back from the fascinating subject of love crushes (see the previous week’s post here, if you missed it), and look at our internal language. 

 

How do you talk with yourself? Are you being your harshest critic? Do you have a tough, never forgiving, never happy voice inside your head who keeps bashing you on a regular basis? It’s ok, we all do. Have you ever considered that you can change that? The famous example is answering a ‘How are you?’ question with ‘Amazing’ or ‘Sparkling’ 🙂 instead of usual ‘Not bad’ (it has ‘bad’ in it!). 

It’s one thing to believe that self love is essential to happiness, and another to actually express it on a regular basis and monitor how you talk to yourself, to correct the deviations. 

Every unhappiness arising inside is the awakening pain body. Stop its negative impact on you by becoming aware of it. I recently started taking notice of negative thoughts (‘You can not do this’, ‘You will suck’, ‘You look awful’, ‘This is not funny to anyone’, ‘You screwed up again’, etc) and stopping them before they take over. I chuckle and say ‘Whatever’, or I smile, or I give a strong positive counter statement (eg ‘Action beats inaction’) and it works! So,

  1. Become aware of a negative or unhappy thought arising in you 
  2. Counteract it with a strong positive statement – facts, reassurance, joke, forgiveness 
  3. Move on, and do whatever you were planning to do anyway 
  4. Repeat 

Good luck! 

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About lolkin

the nomad of the Universe, sailing through the unknown, learning to be happy and give happiness back
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One Response to Are you your harshest critic? #happiness 

  1. lolkin says:

    I found this amazing list of what to do to be kind to yourself – some of these things I am really bad at. I will start by letting others compliment me and basking in approval.

    To be kind to yourself, DO:
    – Smile at your reflection in the mirror.
    – Let others compliment you.
    – Bask in other people’s approval when it comes your way.
    – Be gentle with yourself over small mistakes.
    – Value who you are and stand up for yourself.
    – Get to know yourself like a friend.
    – Be easy about your personal quirks.
    – Be as natural as possible, not worrying if you are pleasing or displeasing others.
    – Speak your truth when you know you should.

    Source: http://www.chopra.com/ccl/a-checklist-to-learn-self-compassion?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=CCL%20Newsletter%20150707&utm_campaign=July#sthash.59JjnTNA.dpuf

    Like

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