Love and marriage – best posts and talks which will radically change your perspective

You might have noticed that most of my recent posts were on the subject of relationships and love. It’s not random, I blog about things that interest me or that I am working on. In 2 weeks time, the Happiness Science course that I am taking restarts, and my blog posts will probably take on a more academic/ philosophical angle. I might also blog more about parenting and happiness, and overcoming fear. All very interesting subjects that are on my radar currently.

Below is the selection of top posts and talks that I’ve seen in the last couple of years on love and marriage. I promise, at least one of them will radically change your perspective. Have a nice weekend, long one if in the UK! 

 

A couple of questions and a 4min stare into stranger’s eyes apparently is all that’s required to fall in love. So the science says. I dare you to experiment with this approach, especially if the subject is your current partner To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.

Wait But Why is an amazing blog on a variety of subjects (forever thanks, Charles, for introducing me to it!). Their posts are usually well researched and science based, and despite being quite lengthy, are surprisingly easy to read. Here is Part 2 (link to Part 1 is there too) of their highly entertaining, yet very true, post on how to pick a life partner and whether one should get married at all (if so, how to be clear on their true motivations) How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 2 | Wait But Why.

Love is weird, right? Helen Fisher, the human behaviour scientist specialising in love, in a series of talks in this great TED playlist The weird science of love reveals how she views love as a drive (like hunger), rather than emotion, and how love is mostly biologically determined (as in driven by the various hormones and need to procreate). Her concept of 3 types of love drive – lust, romantic love and commitment love, and implications of such dichotomy, is fascinating.

By the way, Esther Perel’s talk in the same playlist is no less eye opening – I read her book and follow her on Twitter, and admire the fact that she takes a brave, no nonsense approach to marriage and says things as they are, even if they used to be taboo.

If you are already married or in a relationship, this more melancholic, philosophical post that I found on The School of Life’s web site, which imho is the best modern summary of humanity’s struggles with marriage, is a MUST READ How we end up marrying the wrong people.

If you happen to be married and a new parent, this practical tool may help. Check out Hidden Issues section in particular PlusBaby: Evidence-based relationship support for new parents. I like how simple and visual it is.

To happy relationships, happy marriages, understanding of our and others’ true motives and lots of forgiving! As Ruth Bell Graham said, ‘A happy marriage is a union of two good forgivers’ 🙂

 

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About lolkin

the nomad of the Universe, sailing through the unknown, learning to be happy and give happiness back
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